Holy Guacamole!

So, I was leaving my girls group, not at it's usual location...

I got in the car, unsure of where I was... and got on the freeway going east instead of west... oops... have to turn around.

I make it close to my exit near home about 40 min away and am going over a list of things I need to do tonight before bed (e-mails, etc.) I get to my exit and it's closed...

Finally, I get inside my house and need to put away groceries that I bought at 7:30 (it's now 11pm) and need to be in the frig. (including an opened container of guacamole from girls group) As I was taking it out it slipped and I dropped it on the floor upside down. (Splat!) I say dang it!... pick up the container... put the good stuff back inside... clean off the side and the lid... put it in the frig. I start putting other things away... (rice milk, fruit, etc.) I my rush I knock something over in the frig and drop the guacamole out of the frig and onto the floor upside down again. This time it splats on my jeans, shoes and socks! (This time I'm like... freaking crap!) I put away the last few things. Take some things from the table to the counter... and realize I just stepped in the first pile of guacamole that I hadn't cleaned up yet. At this point I start laughing. I take off my shoes, put them in the sink... and go to salvage whatever guacamole is left in the container on the floor. I decide to put it into a smaller plastic tupperware with a reliable lid. I'm spooning it out and spill all over the towel on the counter. (For the love!!!) I walk back over to the table and go to put a baby picture I got tonight on the frig... and realize I was 1/2 inch from stepping in the 2nd pile of guacamole in my socks! I tell myself to STOP MULTITASKING and CLEAN UP THIS FREAKING MESS before I make a bigger one.

At the end of all of that I think there was a tablespoon of guacamole to put away... and a ton of stuff to clean up!

Wow, sometimes it really pays to be clumsy... ur... uh... I mean, It pays in laughs. :D

Just plain yuck.

So, I run late.

That might be an understatement. With the exception of maybe 2 times a year... I am usually at least 10 minutes late wherever I'm going. It's not something I'm proud of... I'm even actively trying to work on it, but most of the time my lack of paying attention to what I want to be actively working on leaves me.... well, late. For those of you who may be curious... I am almost always late for my own bedtime... up reading or bumbling around... often to sleep an hour or more after I intend.

So then, I rush.

Clumsy people should not be allowed to rush.

Take today for instance. Today I was home for a lunch break and decided I wanted to take a shower. I had done a few other things and was running down to the wire. I'm in my bathroom, getting ready to jump in the shower... pulling out my hair tie... taking off my watch... then... Aaack!

I saw it coming, but there was NOTHING I could do about it.

My watch went straight into the toilet.

I mean, okay, stuff like this happens to me all the time. And I'm prettymuch used to it by now. But really?! I'm rushing around here! And, in the toilet!?

The worst part? Yes, the worst part was I had just used the toilet. It's not like if it had been a few hours since the last use all of the nastiness would have just magically disappeared, but still, when it's fresh in your mind... yuck.

Just plain yuck.


I did disinfect it afterward with alcohol.

One of those people...

Ever wonder how people can wear white??

It baffles me!

Honestly.

I guess I'm baffled because I'm one of those people who spills on their shirt--no matter what the color--and most definitely if it's white... or steps into the invisible hole in the grass while everyone else glides on past without any difficulty... or trips over my own foot and stumbles into the wall... or falls off a chair that didn't move an inch... runs into the doorway... trips while walking on flat ground... and makes a mess of just about everything else I touch. You name it, I've made a mess of it, fallen over it, fallen out of it, or run into it.

So, when I see people wearing white... a white top... pants or even shoes... a bit of envy runs through me... knowing that even if I were to wear white for 5 minutes I would somehow, simultaneously and miraculously, mark myself with permanent ink, spill coffee down my front, get splashed with gutter water, snag a hole by catching myself on the doorway... all while getting pooped on from above by a swarm of friendly birds.

I'm giving up on wearing white... or maybe I will begin to embrace my stains??